I had made up my mind before going into the foot doctor Monday morning that I was going to, after two months, finally run. I had my shoes ready to go in my post work gym bag. No more wearing plastic sacks over my boot while walking through cow poop to take pictures (work related, of course). No more hobbling up and down stairs. No more back pain. Three more weeks in the boot and my plan went out the window. This was an early Monday morning at its finest, and I was already feeling defeated.
I fractured my foot…way worse than what I’d like to admit, falling while trail running at the end of July. Since then I’ve been in a walking aircast (“the boot”) and feeling the full effects of no high heels or high intensity cardio. I actually started crying, but in my car of course when no one was around–and more from frustration than anything.
Things always come up in life that just plain suck.
I wish I could step back and see things objectively. I’m filled with bias, with emotions, with natural assumptions that affect my ability to really see. I’m bound in my human body, reminded in the trials and struggles that I encounter daily that yes, I am indeed human.
It’d be nice to step outside of myself. Then I could view, really view, actuality. God is orchestrating history–both through the little and big trials. There are no accidents. The trails of today lead to the good of tomorrow. It’s hard to see this in the moment, when I feel so defeated, so exhausted and so much at my breaking point. Satan keeps sending things my way, little flicks, punches, jabs, and all at the worst timing imaginable. I am down and I am discouraged.
I am only human. And God is only GOD.
Too often I fail to consider the divine works of the creator. I treat life as if I’m doing this on my own as God watches. I encounter trials both through circumstances and sometimes my own doing. God knows we’re failures and flops. Sin entered the world and we’ve spiraled downward ever since. But here’s the thing–there’s more grace in Christ than sin in our hearts. There’s more power in Christ than the flicks, punches and jabs of Satan.
God’s not paralyzed by our past. God’s not paralyzed by the trails we face. He’s able to bring restoration to our lives…and will do so if we only just ask. He can solve a situation…we just have to ask. He has a plan and purpose for our lives. It doesn’t matter how large or small the trial is, He uses it. He doesn’t watch as we struggle, He carries us through.
It’s hard to be optimistic in the moment, but one thing is for sure. I know once my foot finally heals, running and jumping will feel the best it ever has!